Welcoming Reality: The Art of Acceptance in Relationships
I share with you a monologue I wrote to and for myself on why I can not change people and their behaviours.
3/15/20242 min read
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you desperately wanted someone to change their behavior or mindset? Perhaps it's a friend who repeatedly makes self-destructive choices, a partner who refuses to see things from your perspective, or a family member stuck in harmful patterns. It's a common human desire to wish for the transformation of those around us, especially when we believe it would lead to happier, healthier relationships. However, as much as we may try, the hard truth is that we cannot force change upon others.
I wrote the following monologue both to and for myself, so whenever I find myself in need of a reminder that I can not change people, I read through it.
Welcoming Reality: The Art of Acceptance in Relationships
"You can not change people. Don’t worry, that’s okay. It might seem frustrating at first but it is not, honestly. Rather than focusing on people’s actions take notice of your reaction.
Situations and people don’t have to be as you imagined or planned. It doesn’t always have to be your way. Let there be room for differences and individuality, that can lead to conversations and getting to know each other better, maybe even learning from one another.
Yes, sometimes people seem unaware of being, but the moment we judge, aren’t we either? We can take notice, but we shouldn’t let it affect or influence us and our emotions.
Let us become aware of the veils covering people's sight and determining their actions, but let’s not entangle them into those veils even more by being judgemental, self-opinionated, or not understanding. Every person is on their journey, and everyone reveals and awakes on their own time. The moment we set our focus on others and get bothered by them and their behaviors we get tangled up in our own veils.
It can become a relief for oneself to let people be. The moment we can see others honestly without holding any grudge is the moment we are the truest version of ourselves, uncovered by our veils.
By acknowledging what is with no impulse of changing or influencing it, but by accepting it fully and consciously reacting, we set ourselves free."
Monologue